When I’m alone
With only dreams of you
That won’t come true
What’ll I do?
Free.
Imagining ourselves free, I mean your body moving through water free. Without guilt, free of conflict, free of monetary confinement. Your spirit at one with your mind, moment of true clarity. An indefinable moment, priceless bliss, this moment is what I imagine feeling once I have fully been the change in the world that I wish to see because I promised myself that I would NOT put myself second to anyone or anything. I’m guilty of doing this before, but I’m still trying and my success is inevitable because I’ll NEVER stop fighting, I will NOT give up.
Maintaining balance mentally amongst this vapor I live in day to day is a constant battle and people spew such bullshit it’s hard to take them seriously at all. Mind you we all go through the same things in life, so when we embrace the wrong attitude amidst the day to day struggles it’s so counterproductive. We will always find people that have been successful past a point of despair and doesn’t that make our negative moments feel foolish? No one said there was anything easy about life, no guarantees, easy street is a false hope and that money tree was just a fantasy. I think it’s being able to be mentally free and at peace in those moments in which everything feels the most intensified, exhaling the pressures life teaches us to embrace. Like Bob Marley so eloquently put it “emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but thyself can free thy mind”. Simply I believe the winning combination is love ,peace and freedom and I must being growing up to no longer feel that it is money, power and presence.
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Is it you?
Why do I like you? Only because you don’t chase me or is that only a piece of the appeal ? Are you real or just him every time in this scenario ? I wish you would love me already so I could properly judge, or would I have even been this intrigued initially, maybe we would’ve progressed pass this by now …. I’ve been here before with this same yearning to be liked and feeling rejected. I put the effort out and get pissed off and get in! It’s funny how someone telling me no indirectly makes me do all it takes to win, but life telling me no in the same indirect manner won’t make me beat the door down. I have my lifetime in front of me and I don’t want to waste it away by wasting away! Oh life how I love you so, you complex mess that I live for. So back to this man, that’s really a boy disguised as a man, that I’m obsessing over because he’s not obsessing over me. Do I like him this much ? Is it worth me chasing him past sex? I guess I’m fighting the fact that it is or why else would I still care so much? I’ve had this conversation with so many people because I can’t stop thinking about it! Consensus is that we all want something we can’t have and we want it even more when it’s a challenge. It’s human nature I believe and it happens to us all, but in my case I’m a masochist. Maybe I am Carrie Bradshaw a writer who is OBSESSED with fashion, or is it possible to have more than one passion? Back to him, because that’s how my mind works, would I like him if he liked me? Probably not. Do I obsess and then familiarize myself with aspects of my current obsession to decide whether or not it’s worth my efforts ? It’s hard for me to maintain vapor relationships so I try not to have people around that I have no genuine regard for and in that same thought I’m scarred from karma’s past. I don’t want to mistreat people and be mistreated in return. My mind is a whirlwind and it never does stop, so much potential and so much fear of the legend inside of me. I think that the question is, Am I afraid to live up to the greatness that I embody and fearlessly give the world me? The power of vulnerability lies within me, but am I strong enough to show you?
Photo reblogged from YOUNG BROKE AND FABULOUS with 27 notes
If I did smoke, I would ONLY smoke these …
Source: la-vita--bella
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Balance.
Sometimes what you seek is not what you gain, but it’s doesn’t mean you should be unappreciative of your gain. There was a man I meet once, that I wanted nothing to do with, but in a bored moment I gave him moments of my time. It is only now reflecting I’m realizing how precious each moment in our lives truly are and we must learn to genuinely cherish them. When we spent those initial moments connecting, I felt a warm regard for him as well as a comfort in his presence. I am a ”live for the moment” type person so I went with it, and beautiful moments they were, I’m only reflecting on the positive times, selfishly because they are my favorite and also the ones the that helped me most. I was speaking to a friend earlier today and he told me “ you have to let your guard down, it could be keeping you from happiness. We all need someone, it’s balance”. Are their truer words? We all need someone, and we all need be very particular of the ones we chose. I am guarded and believe me I have good reason to be, but reality is I need someone to care for me, to understand me, to cherish me, to love me and most important to let me love them the best way I can. His words made me realize that it’s not only someone loving me I miss, but being able to love someone, seeing that smile only you could put on someone’s face or thinking of someone in a way they couldn’t even think of themselves. When I started spending time with the aforementioned man, he feed my soul and gave me solace that was impeccably timed, though he is not the man for me I will cherish our moments. It was hard for me to let go, although I knew he wasn’t right for me, It was a challenge because I needed the piece of me I thought I lost he helped me find and I thought because of it I needed him to accompany it, but I don’t. I’m thankful for the chapter in my life where he played his role and I’m elated to move on to find someone that’s for me and further more become a better me. Often times we must learn to live and love in the appropriate moments, stop over thinking everything and follow our hearts to happiness!
Photo reblogged from Third Eye Shine Leading The Blind Seeding The Mind with 43,129 notes
RIP Amy..
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